1. |
Roger, Bravo Leader
03:44
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Can you hear me now?
I’m shouting through the static.
Do you have it?
The willingness to open up your ears?
Recognize the sound?
It’s like an echo from years back.
Let it go black.
Shut your eyes, focus on what you hear.
Find a melody within the chaos,
Burn a calendar without a day lost.
Do you ever wonder,
What it is that’s holding you?
Keeping you sleeping?
You weren’t always this comfortable in dreams.
This cyclical slumber.
You’re watching nightmares on repeat,
But the TV,
Bears no future, holds no memories.
Bricks kept stacking to smother the sound.
We’re not building a door, we’re blowing walls down.
The siren’s calling through the radio,
Drowning out all that we thought to know.
Airwaves, like a storm, that fill the sky.
This is no requiem.
The song has not yet died.
Active complacency,
We ignored what it might cost.
The years lost,
Spinning in a silent music box.
This deafened odyssey,
We filled our ears in with ice blocks.
Let it defrost.
Melt away these liquidated locks.
We’re done wasting, waiting for permission.
Release the satellite, begin transmission.
If we raised this up,
Then we can knock it down.
3...2…
The clock’s run out.
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2. |
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Lift your foot from my neck, like an anchor,
Because that ship has sailed.
Taking corners too fast,
I’m calling out in the dark.
I would wake you up,
If my voice carried that far.
I feel a criminal anger,
A violent pain in my gut.
You chewed through all my time,
But couldn’t reach my luck.
So lift your foot from my neck, like an anchor,
Because that ship has sailed.
I’m betting you’re going to chase me down.
If you could carry the weight of your choice,
Then you’d know the grudge I bear.
Smashing bottles of glass,
And running from the scene.
You tried to aid the chaos,
But some would rather bleed.
While lifting onto the feet,
A victim of circumstance,
They flashed the blade of a knife,
You left the body to scream.
No heroes make peace tonight.
A traitor from the past,
Given a second shot.
But you loaded the gun,
And aimed it right at us.
You stole breath while I slept,
Crawling room to room.
Without a glance in the mirror,
Your choice became your tomb.
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3. |
In Our Genes
03:27
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Don’t know how to say I hope you’re doing well.
We shared secrets that we swore we’d never tell.
But I can’t see you from where I stand.
I held you close when we heard the news about your dad.
The broken glass from the frame that left the wall,
We cleaned it up but we never got it all.
Pain in my feet, though the splinters are gone,
But the pain gives me something to focus on.
Yeah the pain gives me something to focus on.
They say that violence is in our genes,
Point the finger as if they ruined everything.
Our fathers cursed us with spirits unclean,
But it’s only up to us to change our destiny.
They say the only place for men like us is hell.
Forged in misery and left holding a shell.
Damaged goods that nobody will want.
Possessed by demons that always will haunt.
But I refuse to see the men that we’ve become,
Backing down as if it’s easier to run.
It’s difficult because I’m afraid that they’re right,
But we should prove them wrong,
If only to spite.
The broken glass from the frame that left the wall,
We cleaned it up but we never got it all.
Pain in my feet, though the splinters are gone,
But the pain gives me something to focus on.
Yeah the pain gives me something to focus on.
I don’t believe that only heredity
Can decide the man I’m supposed to be.
And though our bloodlines say to be afraid,
We can erase all of the past, and write new history.
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4. |
Math Not Even Once
03:55
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Hey, why am I living here?
Lowering my eyes when I feel them stare.
Hey, why did you drag me here?
I hear whispers of heresy that strip me bare.
I recognize the hypocrisy of wanting to be different but left alone.
I would have kept it quiet, but that don’t quite fit my tone.
Let their words form lesions
That burst my flesh.
Let the enemy of harmony
Withdraw my breath.
Let my tongue and teeth hold hatred
As best they can.
I am barely a man.
I never wanted to be
So bitter with the stench of normality.
I never thought I could be
An upheaval of caste, thrown out so cynically.
I recognize the hypocrisy of wanting to be different but left alone.
I would have kept it quiet, but that don’t quite fit my tone.
Die, as my own enemy,
Rather than feel this much scrutiny.
Die, it’s not a tragedy,
But a murder of absolute mutiny.
I recognize the hypocrisy of wanting to be different but left alone.
I would have kept it quiet, but that don’t quite fit my tone.
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5. |
Happiest Nihilist
04:23
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People say I’m a little too cold,
Since I’ve gone through the emotions and let them go.
And I’m sorry if my method’s getting old,
But it’s the only way I know how to explode.
If life is meaningless, then why not gun it until the engine stops?
Seeking pleasure, avoid pain.
Do what you want, don’t refrain.
There’s no use in feeding this onslaught of flashing distractions to our plot.
You’re not creating by absorbing.
Don’t let “they lived” be your story.
My family says that I don’t call enough.
I feel much better alone, I’m not saying it’s not tough.
Maybe that’s ungrateful or bitter,
But I can’t be the bigger man if I’m such a fucking quitter.
I know how to get to where I’m going,
But you don’t get a say in criticizing what I chose.
And I know the hypocrisy you hear,
But I’d never fall asleep if being wrong was what I feared.
I’ll probably lose another year or two,
Spent wasting my life instead of what I want to do.
But I don’t have to believe in something,
In order to know that win or lose, it all means nothing.
I can never seem to draw what’s in my mind,
But I can put my words to paper, and to me, that’s just as fine.
I don’t know how much longer I can care,
But the only other option is the void, and honestly,
It sounds boring there.
I may not be the brightest shining shit,
But I’m the goddamn happiest nihilist.
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6. |
Firefight (FAMSWLPP)
03:47
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I am the lamb to your slaughter.
I am your son and your daughter.
I am the one that you prayed for,
To never let you down.
Listen close and I’ll speak.
I won’t be turning my cheek.
What a grudge to behold.
I think you’re in too deep.
I’m using fire to cleanse.
I won’t be here when it ends.
I’ll walk away from the ash,
Of our smoldering past.
I didn’t fall much farther,
From the tree that I felled.
I am the dread that you feel.
I am your personal hell.
Firefighting this lightning strike.
You never knew what fear felt like.
Through your fingertips you’ll find,
The reason I don’t sleep at night.
You are the rope on my neck.
I am your endless regret.
You are the one who wins,
But you still haven’t yet.
I am the gaze unending.
You are my teeth when I clench.
I am the life on the knife,
The one you’re gripping again.
I am the one that you think of,
When you’re drinking again.
I am your last 15 bucks spent,
To forget me in ten.
Let the body decay,
I’m undeterred by the smell.
You are the unpinned grenade.
I am your personal hell.
Every time I think about the way you manipulated,
I remember thinking I was crazed.
The truth all faded.
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7. |
Sleepwalk Song
03:43
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A coffee and cigarette breakfast,
An intoxicated lunch.
I wake with a skull full of razorblades,
And I fall asleep fucked up.
A complex carb and cardio breakfast,
A calorie-counting lunch.
I’ll carve a torso like a statue,
A mating dance for lust.
I’m scanning the crowd for faces,
Forgetting all their names.
And I’m looking forward to the tunnel vision,
When colors fade to grey.
The pen has gone empty,
I’m left with a wordless page.
Sever my tongue,
I’ve got nothing left to say.
The mirror has gone empty,
My face: but a picture to paint.
And I bathe in these chains that I’m still not ready to break.
I’m dragging through the daylight,
While sweating through my sheets.
I haven’t been awake for months,
But I’m never quite asleep.
I’m scheduling the poisons that help maintain my state.
There’s nothing left to salvage here,
But I’m begging me to stay.
Here comes a shout from hell.
One that I built myself.
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8. |
Trouble Breathing
03:13
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Stop caring.
Feel better.
If I could take the time to give you part of me,
The one that never forgives myself for always failing,
Then I would ask you to stay, sit and absorb the thought,
That we will never be more than the dirt on our feet.
The hope is weakening now, like a violin string,
The tension all too much to produce anything.
The notes are souring now, the voices wrought with despair.
I used to love the truth, but the lies were unfair.
I used to stretch out on the pews of the church,
Resting my head on my knees,
And pray that the worst would miss me.
But no less than six years ago,
When I asked if you thought if it all was for show,
Were you listening?
And you said:
“Start caring, feel better,” you said.
“Start caring, it’ll quiet your head.”
“Start caring, they need to be led.”
“Start caring,” but I gave up instead.
When I look past the tape, and see the crime isn’t new,
I could lay in the chalk outline next to you.
When the zipper is pulled from my toes to my scalp,
I’ll see that nothing awaits, and erase all doubt.
“Stop caring, feel better,” I said.
“Stop caring, it’ll quiet your head.”
“Stop caring, for all you knew is dead.”
“Stop caring, just give up instead.”
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9. |
1981
02:59
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Awaken with rifles in hand.
Raised in a battlefield, where all sides share the same plan.
The children of excess and waste,
Handed leftover drugs from users with no sense of pace.
Tell us we’re useless, but destined for greatness.
Murder the gods, then wonder why we’re faithless.
You’re lighting a fuse that we’re dancing to dodge,
A fire guaranteed in your will.
Spit on our handicapped mobility,
When you trained all of us to sit still.
Once you’re down below, we’ll reap what you sow.
The few that remain and a murder of crows.
We’re not waiting quiet for your storm to arrive,
The horizon’s just over the hill.
We’re all born with heads full of clay,
To a fatherland that claimed we’d do anything one day.
Said “honest work yields honest crop,”
But you burned down the ladder as soon as you reached the top.
Handed the dead earth that you cultivated,
Inherited landscape, but blame somehow traded.
Tell us we’re useless but destined for greatness.
Murder the gods, then wonder why we’re faithless.
Handed the dead earth that you cultivated,
Inherited blame, but this fault isn’t faded.
You’re lighting a fuse that we’re dancing to dodge,
A fire guaranteed in your will.
Spit on our handicapped mobility,
When you trained all of us to sit still.
Once you’re down below, we’ll reap what you sow.
The few that remain but we’re never alone.
We’re not waiting quiet for your storm to arrive,
The horizon’s just over the hill.
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10. |
Up For Air (La Llorona)
03:05
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You never asked to carry this crucifix.
You are no martyr if you’re fighting back the whips.
The tapestries you’ve woven, just like torches in the dark.
Harness the hellfire, turn scar tissue to a spark.
From the embers that they shoved you in, you’ll build a monument.
But you’ll watch it turn to ash again, before they dare touch it.
(They dare touch it?)
Hold your breath.
Below it gets silent and cold.
And you’re seeking treasure in a deep-sea dive.
Your heart is racing, but you’re still alive.
And my life preserves only travel so far out,
I just hope you’ll search out the lighthouse.
(We’ll always be in the lighthouse)
You’ve taken a tour of all nine circles,
So what’s one more descent?
I know the story has no consequence,
But I don’t want to see it end.
I’ll never know your hailstorm,
What sends you so far down,
But I’ll always pull you up for air,
When you’re drawn back towards the sounds.
Open your lungs.
For a time we still have the sun.
Please don’t drown what has yet to breathe.
Tomorrow holds more than the past may seem.
I can tell you where to go or what to seek,
But I’ll leave a map by your bedside the night before you leave.
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Younger Than Neil Denver, Colorado
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