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Never Quite Asleep

by Younger Than Neil

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1.
People say I'm a little too cold. Because I've gone through the emotions and let them go. And I'm sorry if my method's getting old, But it's the only way I know how to explode. If life is meaningless then why not Gun it until the engine stops? Seeking pleasure, avoid pain. Do what you want, don't refrain. There's not use in feeding this onslaught Of flashing distractions to our plot. You're not creating by absorbing Don't let "they lived" be your story. My family says that I don't call enough I feel much better alone, I'm not saying it's not tough. Maybe that's ungrateful or bitter But I can't be the bigger man if I'm such a fucking quitter. I know how to get to where I'm going, But you don't get a say, in criticizing what I chose. And I know the hypocrisy you hear But I'd never fall asleep, if being wrong was what I feared. If life is meaningless then why not Gun it until the engine stops? Seeking pleasure, avoid pain. Do what you want, don't refrain. There's not use in feeding this onslaught Of flashing distractions to our plot. You're not creating by absorbing Don't let "they lived" be your story. I'll probably lose another year or two Spent wasting my life instead of what I want to do. But I don't have to believe in something In order to know that win or lose it all means nothing. I can never seem to draw what's in my mind But I can put my words to paper and to me that's just as fine I don't know how much longer I can care. But the only other option is the void and honestly, it sounds boring there. I may not be the brightest shining shit But I'm the goddamn happiest nihilist. If life is meaningless then why not (I may not be the brightest shining shit) Gun it until the engine stops? (But I'm the goddamn happiest nihilist.) Seeking pleasure, avoid pain. (I may not be the brightest shining shit) Do what you want, don't refrain. (But I'm the goddamn happiest nihilist.) There's not use feeding this onslaught (I may not be the brightest shining shit) Of flashing distractions to our plot. (But I'm the goddamn happiest nihilist.) You're not creating by absorbing (I may not be the brightest shining shit) Don't let "they lived" be your story. (But I'm the goddamn happiest nihilist.) You're not creating by absorbing Don't let "they lived" be your story.
2.
A coffee and cigarette breakfast An intoxicated lunch I wake with a skull full of razor blades And I fall asleep fucked up. A complex-carb and cardio breakfast A calorie-counting lunch I carve a torso like a statue A mating dance for lust I'm scanning the crowd for faces Forgetting all their names And I'm looking forward to the tunnel vision When colors fade to grey The pen has gone empty, I'm left with a wordless page Sever my tongue, I've nothing left to say The mirror has gone empty, my face: but a picture to paint And I bathe in these chains that I'm still not ready to break Dragging through the daylight While sweating through my sheets I haven't been awake for months But I'm never quite asleep I'm scheduling the poisons That help maintain my state There's nothing left to salvage here But I'm begging me to stay The pen has gone empty, I'm left with a wordless page Sever my tongue, I've nothing left to say The mirror has gone empty, my face: but a picture to paint And I bathe in these chains that I'm still not ready to break Here comes a shout from Hell One that I built myself
3.
In Our Genes 03:23
Don't how to say I hope you're doing well. We shared secrets that we swore we'd never tell. But I can't see you from where I stand. I held you close when we heard the news about your dad. The broken glass from the frame that left the wall. We cleaned it up but never got it all Pain in my feet though the splinters are gone But the pain gives me something to focus on. Yeah the pain gives me something to focus on. They say the violence is in our genes. Point the finger as if they ruined everything. Our fathers cursed us with spirits unclean. But it's only up to us to change our destiny. They say the only place for men like us is hell. Forged in misery and left holding a shell. Damaged goods that nobody will want. Possessed by demons that always will haunt. But I refuse to see the men we've become Back down and decide it's easier to run. It's difficult to confess I'm afraid that they're right. But we should prove them wrong if only to spite. The broken glass from the frame that left the wall. We cleaned it up but never got it all Pain in my feet though the splinters are gone But the pain gives me something to focus on. Yeah the pain gives me something to focus on. I don't believe that only heredity Can decide the type of man that I'm supposed to be. And though our bloodline says to be afraid We can erase all of the past, and write new history. They say the violence is in our genes. Point the finger as if they ruined everything. Our fathers cursed us with spirits unclean. But it's only up to us to change our destiny. I don't believe that only heredity Can decide the type of man that I'm supposed to be. And though our bloodline says to be afraid We can erase all of the past, and write new history.

credits

released January 10, 2018

Ben Feliciano - Vocals
Caleb Williams - Drums, Vocals, Beer
James McPherson - Tenor Sax, Bari Sax, Vocals
JD Minnick - Bass Guitar
Levi Boenish - Rhythm Guitar
Zach Anderson - Lead Guitar
Ethan Harris - Trombone, Bass Trombone, Ego
Nicole Swan - Trumpet

Lyrics - Ben Feliciano (Happiest Nihilist, In Our Genes)
Caleb Williams (Sleepwalk Song)

Recording/Editing by - James McPherson, Ethan Harris, Andreas Landeck

Mixing/Mastering by - Ethan Harris and James McPherson

Management and Cat Herding - Allee Devault

Special thanks to Mark Swan, Alex Easterday, Azria Arroyo, Kyle Blust, and Kaity McKay for gang vocals, Gene Molina for modeling, as well as Jeff Giles for lending us his equipment

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Younger Than Neil Denver, Colorado

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